When we think of compassion, it is tempting to picture something soft, delicate, or even passive. Yet compassion is anything but fragile. It is not sentimentality. It is strength in stillness!
The Mammoth standing steady through storms, extending warmth and presence even when the world rushes and tears around it.
Compassion is both ancient and essential. Long before psychology gave it a name, spiritual and cultural traditions placed it at the heart of human community.
From Buddhist karuṇā to Christian agape, from indigenous kinship rituals to the quiet caring of neighbours, compassion has always been the glue that holds people together.
It is not an optional extra; it is part of what makes us human.
Compassion in the Helping Relationship
Carl Rogers’ person-centred theory rests on the idea that people flourish under certain conditions: empathy, congruence, and unconditional positive regard (Rogers, 1957). Compassion flows through all three. In the counselling room, compassion is not about offering solutions. It is about presence. A therapist’s role is not to remove another’s burden, but to stay with them while they learn how to carry it — or to set it down.
Research supports this. Studies in psychotherapy show that compassionate presence, even more than specific techniques, predicts therapeutic change (Cooper, 2019). Clients often describe compassion as the “felt sense” of being safe enough to explore their inner world.
Compassion for Self
We are often far harsher with ourselves than we would ever be with another. Self-compassion is not indulgence but balance. Kristin Neff (2003) identifies three components: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.
Together, these create a softer inner voice that supports rather than condemns. Biologically, self-compassion reduces cortisol (the stress hormone) and increases heart-rate variability, a measure of resilience in the nervous system (Kirschner et al., 2019).
Far from making people lazy, it improves motivation by reducing fear of failure. In mammoth terms, it is the reassurance: You are still whole, even when you stumble.
Compassion in Modern Life
Modern culture prizes speed and productivity. Compassion, by contrast, asks us to slow down.
In workplaces, compassion may appear inefficient, yet organisations that foster compassionate leadership show reduced burnout, greater collaboration, and higher creativity (Boyatzis et al., 2013).
In a society where many interactions are mediated by screens, compassion becomes even more vital. The digital age tempts us towards judgement without presence. Compassion interrupts this current — it re-humanises.
When Compassion is Tested
Compassion is easy in the abstract but hard in practice. It is tested most when we encounter suffering that challenges our values, or when our own resources are drained.
In the counselling room, this may appear as compassion fatigue, a weariness from repeated exposure to pain.
In modern life, it may emerge in burnout, when we feel too stretched to care.
Historically, even spiritual teachers spoke of this struggle: Buddhist texts warn against idiot compassion— kindness that ignores boundaries and leads to harm (Chödrön, 1991).
Science echoes this warning. Neuroimaging shows that empathic distress (feeling overwhelmed by another’s pain) activates different brain regions from compassion. Distress can drain us, but compassion, when balanced with boundaries, activates reward circuits and fosters resilience (Singer & Klimecki, 2014).
The lesson is clear: compassion is not about self-erasure. True compassion includes care for the self, recognition of limits, and sometimes, the courage to step back.
Compassion Beyond the Individual
Compassion stretches beyond personal encounters. It can be directed to communities, to the Earth, and even to future generations.
Climate action, for example, is often framed in scientific terms — but beneath the graphs lies a moral question of compassion: will we care enough for those we may never meet?
Here the Mammoth becomes metaphor once more. Extinct, it nevertheless calls us to consider our legacy: What traces will we leave for others to inherit?
A Practice of Compassion
Compassion can be cultivated. A simple exercise is the Compassion Pause:
1. Notice — Become aware of a struggle (your own or another’s).
2. Acknowledge — Recognise the difficulty without judgement or haste.
3. Extend — Offer a compassionate phrase, e.g. “May you be safe. May you be steady. May you find peace.”
4. Act (if needed) — Let compassion guide whether to support, step back, or simply remain present.
Over time, this practice strengthens the neural pathways of care, allowing compassion to become less reactive and more embodied.
Compassion is not weakness. It is not pity. It is presence, strength, and connection. But it is also tested — in fatigue, in frustration, in the limits of our humanity. Here the Mammoth stands as guide: steady, resilient, rooted.
“To practice compassion is not to never tire, but to return, again and again, to the stance of care — for self, for others, and for the world.”
References
• Boyatzis, R. E., Smith, M. L., & Blaize, N. (2013). Developing sustainable leaders through coaching and compassion. Academy of Management Learning & Education, 12(2), 193–210.
• Chödrön, P. (1991). The Wisdom of No Escape. Boston: Shambhala.
• Cooper, M. (2019). Integrating
Counselling & Psychotherapy: Directionality, Synergy, and Social Change. Sage.
• Kirschner, H., Kuyken, W., Wright, K., Roberts, H., Brejcha, C., & Karl, A. (2019). Soothing your heart and feeling connected: A new mechanism underlying the psychological and physiological benefits of self-compassion. Mindfulness, 10(11), 2012–2025.
• Neff, K. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85–101.
• Rogers, C. R. (1957). The necessary and sufficient conditions of therapeutic personality change. Journal of Consulting Psychology, 21(2), 95–103.
• Singer, T., & Klimecki, O. M. (2014). Empathy and compassion. Current Biology, 24(18), R875–R878.